


We'll Be Fireproof

by aaliona



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Because how could I not do one?, M/M, More movie than book compliant, Soulmark AU, as of now it won't be, at one point I promised to continue this, listening to his music just gives me all the spierfeld inspiration, so it does have a cliffhanger but I find it a cathartic one soooo, yes the title is from a troye sivan song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 02:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16150742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaliona/pseuds/aaliona
Summary: When Simon shared his concerns about his soulmate, he never expected Blue to describe his mark in response, and he definitely never expected it to sound like his own. Simon couldn't be sure they were the same, so he didn't say anything. Then Martin Addison leaked their emails, leaving Simon to wonder if he'd just lost his soulmate forever.





	We'll Be Fireproof

**Author's Note:**

> There are already so many good soulmate AUs for these two, but I had to add my own. I hope you enjoy it!

FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
DATE: October 30 at 11:57 PM  
SUBJECT: Do you believe in love?

Dear Blue,

That sounds like a stupid question. I know everyone is supposed to believe in love unless you don’t have a mark. And I guess most people without one do too. I have one, but there’s always that what if. What if it’s wrong? What if the science or magic or whatever you want to call it isn’t right? How can someone automatically be perfect just because a little shape says they are? How can the universe or god or whoever automatically know and get it right every single time? Don’t get me wrong, I feel up my own wrist just like everyone else when I meet someone new, but I don’t mean to. And I don’t want to. Honestly? I’m not sure I want to ever meet them. 

It would definitely make hiding things a lot more difficult.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking it.

Jacques 

 

Simon stared at his computer screen, wondering if this was even an okay conversation to bring up. Some people were super touchy about the whole subject of soulmarks, and granted Blue didn’t feel like the kind of person who was ridiculously religious about the sanctity of soulmates. Still, Simon couldn’t say for sure, so he probably should have brought the subject up slowly. At least he hadn’t brought up his actual mark. That was another form of blasphemy to a lot of people. Leah had always been so up in arms about hers that Simon actually wondered at one point if she didn’t have one. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world to him, but Leah had enough she dealt with—more than she wanted them to know. He wouldn’t have been surprised if it was true.

But then Nick had broken down one night, removing his cuff to display a bare arm. After a lot of hugs and reassurance that it didn’t make him broken, Leah and Simon had both revealed theirs. Nick had only ever seen his parents’ matching set, and that wasn’t the same as an unmatched mark. Leah almost hit him when he said hers looked like an abstract unicorn.

“Unicorns can be cool,” Simon had said, coming to Nick’s defense.

Apparently only Nick got a pass because he did get swatted for his troubles. But being able to look at Leah’s mark had been so fascinating. He’d only ever seen his sisters’ marks, and theirs were both larger than his. When they were little, Alice had said that meant his soulmate would love him less, but after bawling to his mother (and getting Alice grounded in the process), he’d gotten a better explanation for his little fire shape. 

“You’re going to have a quieter kind of love,” she’d told him. “Not lesser, not weaker. Just quieter. There’s nothing wrong with a reserved soulmate, Si.” And she’d summoned his father to compare their marks. Simon’s mother had a much larger mark. Knowing his parents, that made sense. Simon knew she didn’t love his dad less than he loved her; she simply kept her affection for family moments.

Once he had comes to terms with the fact that he was gay, Simon’s mark suddenly felt perfect. He didn’t want a huge mark. He didn’t want someone who was going to throw their relationship around and be super public. At this point, Simon wasn’t comfortable with that kind of thing. Having someone discreet would be a good thing. 

 

FROM: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
TO: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
DATE: October 31 at 4:05 PM  
SUBJECT: Re: Do you believe in love?

Jacques,  
I don’t think it was a stupid question. To tell you the truth, I feel the same way sometimes, especially since you’re right. I’ve heard it’s basically impossible to hide when you’ve found your soulmate, and I don’t know if I’m ready for biology to out me. 

That feels cowardly to admit. I know you’re supposed to be dying to meet your soulmate, waiting with baited breath for the day. I’m not. I actually dread the day I find someone else with this weird little flame thing. Obviously they’ll be male. I did a ton of research when I was starting to understand myself. You can have a platonic soulmate, but I couldn’t find any examples of one that didn’t match orientation. I guess that means most platonic soulmates are ace?

Oh wow. I just reread what I wrote and realized I described my mark. Most of me is screaming to delete that line, but I’m going to leave it, Jacques. I know I’ve said I don’t want us to know each other’s identities, and I stand by that. I feel like I should give you something more than Oreos, though, and I think this is all I have that won’t connect the dots for you. I’m sorry if it feels too personal.

I guess I’m just feeling vulnerable tonight.

Blue

 

Simon reread the email three times before he forced himself to breathe. Weird little flame thing wasn’t that specific of a description. Lots of people could probably describe their marks that way. But what if?

Without even thinking through his actions, Simon unsnapped the leather cuff he usually didn’t even remove to sleep. It slipped through his fingers, falling to the floor, but Simon didn’t care. His eyes sought out the black design against his skin—darker and with more of a sheen than any tattoo artist could ever hope for. Simon had heard of markless people getting fakes tattooed onto their skin, but it never worked. It could never look the same.

Only one other person in the whole would could ever have the same mark as him. The marks themselves still wouldn’t be exact copies because the size reflected each other. Simon wondered how big his soulmate’s was. How big was Blue’s?

He physically pushed away from his desk as he fought against that idea. Blue wasn’t his soulmate. Blue couldn’t be his soulmate. Blue was the first ever gay guy Simon had ever talked to if you didn’t count Ethan. Since “Do you have a piece of paper I could borrow?” in history didn’t seem to count anyway, Blue probably was. No way could that kind of odds happen.

Then again, people said soulmarks had a mind of their own to bring people together. It happened sometimes that people grew old without meeting their soulmates, but it was rare. Simon knew he’d probably meet his soulmate eventually, but at seventeen through email?

Simon pressed his palms against his forehead, closing his eyes as he thought through his options, saying them aloud to himself.

“Hey Blue, I was wondering if you could send me a pic. You know, for research purposes.”

“Hey Blue, mine too!”

“I think we’re soulmates.”

Simon groaned. He shut his computer and stood abruptly. With nothing to actually do, he paced around the room and thought through his options.

Even if he thought they did match, Simon had a feeling that Blue wouldn’t want to know. He’d basically told Simon he wasn’t ready to meet his soulmate because he wasn’t ready for that kind of relationship or ready to reveal himself to others.

Simon wasn’t really either.

It seemed easier to wait until tomorrow to respond. It gave Simon time. Besides, Leah would expect him soon for the Halloween party. They’d agreed to get ready together since they were going as a matching set. Originally he’d suggested Sonny and Cher, but Leah about canceled them partnering right there. Lennon was cool too, though.

…

FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com  
TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com  
DATE: November 1 at 3:45 AM  
SUBJECT: Re: Do you believe in love?

Dear Blue,

So… One of my friends likes the other, and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what finding my soulmate would mean and why I haven’t come out yet. Maybe because it doesn’t seem fair that only gay people have to come out. Maybe it’s because I can’t be sure this whole being gay thing is forever. Maybe I’ll meet my soulmate, and they’ll be a girl, and I’ll have to totally readjust what I think I want. 

Or maybe it’s because there’s not that much of high school left, and part of me wants to hold on to who I’ve always been just a little longer. And then… when I got to college in Los Angeles, I’ll be gay and proud, I promise. And if my soulmate is a guy, which they probably are, I’ve got way better chances of meeting them there anyway.

Not sure who I’m promising. I’ll keep ruminating and thinking about my soulmate and coming out and this whole mess.

Love, Jacques

 

“Shit!” 

…

Simon read his drunk email over and over in the morning. He thought about sending a quick apology and telling Blue not to read it, but he probably would anyway. 

He took a deep breath, glancing over at Leah as she shifted in her sleep. Simon needed to get his emotions under control, or she’d pick up on it in seconds.

At least Simon hadn’t mentioned his own soulmark. He’d mentioned thinking about his soulmate, and while he was seriously debating whether or not that was Blue, at least he hadn’t shared his questioning. Blue didn’t need that right now, and to be completely honest, neither did Simon. 

And thankfully Blue glossed over the Soulmate part of Simon’s email when he responded, pushing them both safely back into familiar conversation territory. If Simon happened to rub his wrist when he read “Love, Blue,” well, Blue didn’t need to know.

…

The idea that Blue could be Simon’s soulmate seemed more plausible all the time. They had so many little things in common, and Simon couldn’t help smiling whenever he read a new email. They didn’t stray back to the subject of soulmates thankfully, but they shared plenty of other deep information. Blue was there for Simon after he came out to Abby, and Simon cheered him on right back as he talked about coming out to his dad. Everything seemed perfect in the little world they’d created, like nothing could ever touch it. No matter how much stress and concern Simon was dealing with trying to keep his friends from pushing Martin over the edge, Blue was perfect. Their emails made Simon feel like they truly belonged together.

Then Martin ruined it all.

**Author's Note:**

> More to come soon! I know this was a rude place to cut off.


End file.
